Dear Mom,

Dear Mom,

Everyday I think about your strength. Laughing every time we rode up to Boston to Bringham Womens. Giggling as you had fun with your wigs.

Everyday I remember that we lived through it. Together.

Everyday I wonder if it might come back.

Everyday I hope you're OK.

Everyday.

When we went through "The Scare", it was nerve wracking. Waiting for the phone to ring after the biopsy and then surgery. The moments waiting for the doctors to decide if things had spread. Sitting through chemotherapy, radiation, reconstruction, and recovering from chemo brain. Thinking hundreds of times about what I would do without you and how is it possible we can put a man on the moon and not find one small evil thing that infects our world. How does something so small defeat so many? How do we quibble about the cost of gasoline when there isn't enough money for research? That was the only thing racing through my mind during the 26 mile marathon completed in your honor. These thoughts went through my mind constantly and still do to this day. The sheer relief of hearing that things worked out, was like being able to breathe after being underwater and thrashing to get back up.

This week your oncologist gave you excellent news...you are almost a 5 year survivor. We will have one heck of a great day on July 24th, 2011!  I feel so blessed but it is always there, in the background. Almost like it's always waiting to take you from me. I can go through a whole week and forget, and suddenly see something pink and am reminded again. I'll never breathe again quite like I did before that day.

When people are healthy, no one understands how precious the value of their wellness is. So goes the old Chinese saying, “身在福中、不知福” which literally means one is unmindful of the happy life one is blessed with.  May hope be with all friends and family who share this life experience with me, you are in my thoughts.


Love,
M